Muse & Meander

Shaping a Genesis week from the chaos of my life

Reflect, don’t drag

DSCN4925OH my goodness. How can it already be the start of a new year?  My beloved grandmother used to tell me that the years were moving faster than she was ready for.  I was too young to understand it then. I get it now.

There’s much in the blogosphere about the old year and the new year, the failures and successes and the resolutions. Sure, I could add to that list.

I could talk about finishing my novel and how I am determined to be brave enough this year to submit it to agents. I could complain that I’m struggling with the second one, but confess I’m learning much about myself in the process.

I could tell you that, in spite of my tinsel tension woes we had the loveliest Christmas where I finally roasted a perfect turkey. I could share my joy because a young woman I’ve never met  crocheted a scarf that warms my heart as well as my neck with colours I would have chosen.  She has no idea what a gift that is for me.

I could reveal how I was determined last night to not over-indulge and yet somehow I spent the night fighting acid reflux and beating myself up about it. That just might be pushing the boundaries though, don’t you think?

I started this wee blog in August, and I could tell you how hard it is to put myself out there because I am truly an introvert who can do extroverted things.  I’m pleased that I have been able to maintain the schedule I set for myself and I delight in the different countries who are represented in my visitors (even though I’m reasonably sure it was a class project on SEO).

I could tell you what a wonder it was to have a little Christmas story generate so much interest that it tripled my best monthly stats in one day.  Some days it’s hard to keep at it, you know?  And yet, I’m determined to generate more content this year. I’ve given myself a window for this project, and I’ve joined a 500 words challenge but there are steps to be taken and I can only put one foot in front of the other.  That’s how God made us.

I could go on and on about all of that, but instead I want to quote one thing I read yesterday:

P1070595If you drag yesterday into today your tomorrow cannot be what it was meant to be.

Let. It. Go.

Anita Renfroe

The most important word to me is “drag”. It’s not the same as “reflect”.  I need to do that — we all do — because our memories are valuable gifts. I want to remember the hug of a woman who made plum küchen, or how a bus driver reminded me to really see people or how having a kindred-spirit friend has enriched my life. That kind of reflecting is healing and purposeful, and I think it’s the kind of remembering that God wants us to do.

And as much as there are lessons to learn on dissonance, or the hurts in changed Christmas plans or even my frustration that not enough is being done for youth mental health,  or how we collect friends like stamps, I can’t allow myself to drag all that hopelessness forward with me.

At some point, I have to let it go or I’ll be mired there forever. Yeah, that’s just not what I want for my life.  It’s not what God wants for me. It’s not what God wants for you either. Let. It. Go.

The smallness you feel comes from within you. Your lives aren’t small, but you’re living them in a small way.

II Corinthians 6:12The Message

I have much to look forward to in 2014. My life is blessed. I’m past the half-way mark and I want the rest of it to be intentional and full starting today. We had such fun going owl-hunting, that we are doing it again today.  Happy New Year, everyone!

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This entry was posted on January 1, 2014 by in What I'm thinking today and tagged , , , .

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